Second Chance.

Its been awhile since Ive set and wrote about the things happening around me.I love to write and usually it comes to me so easy, but lately my mind has been boggled over life,love,and feelings. Hopefully my mind will allow the words to flow off my tongue easily.

Ive been told by people that I should really consider help for myself due tomy recent decisions that effect the rest of my life. Im considered by others as anunstable loose cannon. I understand the concerns that others have. I would like to say this in response to my fellow worriers.

My recent decisions I have made have been thought through, it has been a long time coming.You say Im crazy for just getting up and walking out and not looking back. But I have had awhile to accept the change, to know that this is something I had to do to be on my pursuit of happiness. What is shocking to the outside is simply that. Your the outside. You do not know what happens behind closed doors and closed hearts. It was not a decision made of hast.Yes, I was wrong for not communicating my thoughts and feelings. Yes, I was wrong for pretendingto everyone that my life was glorious.Lines of communication was cut in half along time ago,and I take full responsiablty for that. I did not let go easily regardless of what you think.


I have lived a hard life. I have gone through more things in my short lifetime that noothers will ever experience. So yes, call me mental.But unstable? hardly not.I know right from wrong, I know when my mind is overloaded and over the years I have learned to handle it behind the walls of my heart. Im a strong minded individual, I know when to let my guard down and I know when to throw it up. I do not use my past as a excuse for my mental short comings, Its simply part of who I am.

We are all mental in our ways, we all have issues that we fight with on a day to day basis.Its how we overcome our shortcomings that make us different from the people in a straight jacket.And theres no straight jacket in my future.So please do not judge me when I deal with mine in a way that you do not understand.

My glass was half empty and now its on its way of being more than half full.

Im going to be ok,Im going to be happy. I have no plans of letting my screws fall out.Life is to precisious to me to just throw my hands up and ruin 27 years of hard fucking work.I have to much pride in myself to just let life throw me down and keep me down and I have a littlegirl that calls me mommy, that adores, me and counts on me.
Thank you guys for the concerns :)