Phograph Title " We Stand Alone"

I have 2 sisters. One is 8 years older and the other is just a year younger. I love both my sisters very much. Words could not mearly be enough to describe how much.

This flower has three buds that branch off on its own. It represents me and my 2 sisters. For so long we stood alone in our little world.



When I was 2 or 3 my father had left our life to pursue his own. Growing up, mom worked a 8-5 job. My older sister immediatley became the second mother. She of course was a child herself but was shoved into adulthood way to young. I remember she would come home from school and look over me and my younger sister. Making sure our homework was done, the piece was kept between fighting lil girls. She made sure supper was on the table before our mom would walk in the door and also making sure the house was cleaned and clean cloths to wear. How such a young adolecent teen could take on so much responsiablity and not go completely insane is beyond me.
Oh yeah, sure she had her moments of rebellion but never like you see these days with teens. I do not blame my mother for this and Im sure my older sister does not either. Its what had to be done.
I admire my older sister for giving up part of her life to make sure me and my lil sister had some sort of normality in our childhood.



My younger sister is my best friend. We are very close in age so this of course is enivadiable. We havent always been the closet but weve always found our way back to eachother.



My sisters were my safe haven. We were the only ones that new what was going on in our life. Me and my older sister never really talked about it until we both grew up. My lil sister and I we would talk about it occasionally.

My uncle by Marriage, molested me and my sisters. My earliest memory of it is 3 so no telling if it happened before then. This went on till the age of 13.
Sometimes I wonder how did I allow this to go on for so long? The only answer Ive been able to come up with is... When you grow up in a certain enviroment you believe this is the way of life, that its normal. As you get older part of you starts thinking that it might not be normal, but of course by then why would you say anything? Who would believe you? Something that youve kept quiet about for so long, to even think of telling is just unimaginable. Even though you want someone to help, to stop it.

I can rememeber way too many times keeping my guard up because I didnt want my sister to have as much as I did. Being so little and immature, I never focused on why I was doing this. As years went by I realized it wasnt because I enjoyed it, it was because I didnt want her to suffer nearly as bad. It was enivatable that she would get it. But as long as I was around it wouldnt be nearly as much.
As we grew into adults, we talked about it. She herself was trying to do the same for me.

Small childern trying to be eachothers protectors. To save eachother from a monster. The monster that was chipping away every part of our abilities of being children, of having dreams, having some sort of sense of ourselves. Instead this monster redefined who we were suppose to be.. Yes some say, do not allow your struggles to define who you are, but how can you really believe that when the most defining stage of your life you had someone that you thought loved you, touch ,kiss , look at you, breathe upon you as their disposable sex toy.

My sisters are the best part of my childhood, the safest part of my childhood. I dont havet to pretend, I dont havet to hold back. They kept me alive. I really dont think they get that part.

(this doesnt even scratch the surface of my past)

Dave Matthew Band: Sister

Pass the time with you in mind

It's a rather quiet night

Feel the ground against my back

Counting stars against the black

Thinking bout another day

Wishing I was far away

Whether they were dreams or worries

You were there with me Sister,

I hear you laugh

My heart fills full up

Keep me please

Sister, when you cry I feel your tears running down my face

Sister, Sister keep me

I hope you always know its true

I would never make it through

We could make the sun go down

Just by walking away

Playing like we used to play

Our kingdom will never go away

Feel you beating in my chest

I'll be dead without

Sister, I hear you laugh

My heart fills full up

Keep me please

Sister, when you cry I feel your tears running down my face Sister,

Sister will you keep me?

I would never make it through

Hope you always know its true

You could make the heaven's fall

Just by walking away

Sister, I hear you laugh

My heart fills full up

Keep me please

Sister, when you cry I feel your tears running down my face Sister,

Sister keep me